Thursday -- Journal entry to Andy
We are on our way home. I'm worried about you. I want you to know that my mom thought of you like a son and she loved you very much. I hadn't thought about it before but this is a loss for you too. I think you considered Mom kinda like your 2nd Mom. She is in a much better place now.
Frank called us. He has check on the house and wanted to know what he could do. Your Mom is great! I can't believe all my friends were at your house. It helped me so much to talk to Sean,
Carolyn, Sarah, Chris, and Jamie. Sean promised to help with Nathan, Jamie was going to call some of Dena's friends, Sarah promised to pray for me, Carolyn was going to talk to Coach Bland for me, Chris promised to help, too. I have the best friends in the world. I couldn't ask for more. I was afraid they would feel too awkward to talk to me about it. They were all very brave. Their support will help us so much.
I think everyone has been notified. All my friends will find out. The only one's I'm not sure about are Chris McNeely and Greg Brown. I sent both of them postcards at the beginning of my trip.
I just need you to be here for me to talk to. I need you to listen to me talk about Mom and the problems that are going to arise. I'm here to listen to you, too. I know this will be hard for you too. Together we can make it through anything. I know you don’t know what to say and I don't know what you could say to make me feel better. The only thing you can say that will me is, I love you! That's what I need to hear. I'm going to try to sleep!
I clearly when into oldest child mode and started taking care of everyone else. I was worried about Andy and my siblings and my Dad. I was worried about my friends and how awkward this would be for them. I'm also a person who is great at delegating, as you can see I gave each one of my friends a job and way to feel helpful. I was overwhelmed by the kindness and support of not only my close group of friends but also all my friends. They were all together when I called. They all already knew and were trying to figure out how to help. Frank is a local police officer whom I considered a second father. He was there to support me and help me when I needed it. He believed in me and was a big cheerleader of mine. The fact that he would check on our house and call to check on us was incredibly thoughtful. In the chaos of all my crazy thoughts of the past days, I had never imagined the outpouring of love and support that we would receive.
I also remember that I had called Andy the previous evening. He was going to fly home early to be with me. Andy's dad had broken the news to him, but when his dad said, Carrie's mom has died. He misunderstood and thought that his Dad was referring to his sister, Carrie and in some backward way telling him his own mother had died. Once they got it all straightened out, Andy realized what was going on. They told the airline that Andy's mother-in-law had died in order to get priority on switching flights. I was touched that he would cut his vacation short to be with me, but I really wanted him with me.
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