We have started a family tradition with the boys of taking flowers to Grandma Patty's grave on this day. The boys have regularly visited the cemetery from time they were born. The first time we took Lucas he just sat right down in front of the correct headstone and touched it, like he was drawn to this spot in the cemetery. It was a very touching moment.
I have been blessed with many wonderful women in my life who collectively have filled in the role of Mother in my life over the years. One of these women is my mother-in-law, Kay. I thought I would take this opportunity to share some memories and thoughts on my Mom's interactions with my mother-in-law.
I'm sure my Mom had no idea when I was 17 years old who I might marry one day. My mom and dad dated in high school and were married a couple of years after graduation, so maybe my mom felt like there was a high chance that Andy was the one. My first memory of my Mom looking for Kay to help take care of me was far before her passing or even Andy or I dating. In Jr. High, Andy and I both qualified to take the SAT as part of a Gifted and Talented study or something. Both of our mom's drove us to UE to take the test. I had seen Andy and his mom walking in ahead of us and pointed them out to Mom. Mom got sick just as we arrived and was unable to help me get signed in and figure out where I was supposed to go. Being my first time on campus and already being stressed about taking the SAT as a 13 year old, I got a little worried. Mom suggested I go find Andy and Kay and see if they could help me. I found them and Kay got me all settled in. At the time I didn't give it much thought at all, but now is seems a little symbolic.
I found out shortly after Andy and I were engaged, that Kay and my Mom had ran into each other at the grocery shortly before our Spring Break trip. I think at the time Kay was a little worried that Andy and I were a little too serious and expressed some of that concern to my Mom. Mom responded with the idea that maybe they will break up, go to college and live a little and then get back together a few years later and it will all work out. Amazingly enough that's exactly what happened. Kay never shared that story with me, until after Andy and I were engaged. I'm sure my mom didn't know she was going to die, but it's like she already could see the path my life would take.
Shortly before Mom's death, I had been invited to a dinner to honor local high school math students at UE. My mom was very excited and was looking forward to going. The dinner was after Spring Break and I was ready to bail. Kay stepped in again and she and Andy went to the banquet with me. Kay started stepping in for my Mom immediately and continued to do so even when I wasn't dating her son. She has always treated and loved me as one of her own and I was grateful all the way back to jr high through today. Kay will never replace my mother nor has she ever tried, but she has supported me and stepped in when she has been able to make that hole in my life a little smaller.
Mother's Day is also very special to me for another reason. This is the day that I started my journey as a mother. I struggled with fertility issues while trying to conceive Lucas. After 2 years of struggles, we had a successful IVF cycle in 2008. Our egg retrieval was on Mother's Day. I felt my mother's presence and prayers very strongly on that day, more so that any other in the last 20 years. It was very symbolic that our little Lucas was formed on that day. It was on that Mother's Day that my mom and Kay became Grandmothers and I a mother.
So today, I remember the smiling woman who has amazed me even after her death with her insight into my future, her presence in my life, and the gift that she will always be to me. I also honor my mother in law who not only blessed me with her son, but has also been a constant presence and blessing to my life for the last 30+ years and who continues to be a blessing to our family.
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